April 16, 2022
After spending about two weeks with a dozen retirees I learned a few things. One thing I learned is anything I would discover, and think is “new” and is pretty cool, they have already experienced. I would get that “yeah, we know” expression, with a patience often practiced on grandchildren.
Another thing I learned, a gift from my new friend Joan: “don’t sweat the small stuff”. I needed that advice. I’ve incorporated it into my daily life, now that I’m back home in Montana. Things that used to pester, to irritate, I can just glide past now. Thank you, Joan and Dick.
Another thing I learned is to quit worrying. Or not to worry so much. There’s only so much I can control. Don’t worry about the rest, maybe that’s the same as the gift I received from Joan. A lesson that cannot be relearned often enough!
The Gift
A gift that I only recently recognized is I’ve developed the ability to cry. I’m not a crier. I don’t shed tears, even at the most appropriate moments. I feel guilt, and shame, when I remain dry eyed at funerals, when it’s for someone I love, yet I have no tears. When I felt that tension in my chest that would be lessened if I could just cry, I’ve resorted to sad/happy videos on YouTube to generate the necessary tears. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=things+to+make+you+cry
That change is not about hanging out with my new friends, it’s about having my purse stolen, that vulnerability thrust upon me. And spending time on an island, a beautiful, warm, tropical island, but that extra stay was out of my control. It was not of my doing. Even though I was able to enjoy many minutes on the island as the situation was being resolved, there was a lot of stress mixed in.
Love
The trauma of having my purse stolen and having no identification, no money, no credit cards, no cell phone to reach my husband did something to me, something deep that I can’t find the word for. Not only have I become more safety conscious, it also woke something in me that allows, or stunts, the ability to shed tears.
I’ve been surprised at the situations that my body and soul now find tears. I was brought to tears by the animated movie Encanto. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2953050/ I shed literal tears in the closing scenes of Terminator Dark Fate. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminator:_Dark_Fate
The scenes with three powerful women trying to survive, to fight back, to live, made me weep. That strength shared among strong women; it touched my heart in deep, meaningful ways. I know that’s not the kind of thing that one would expect would bring tears, a Terminator movie, and yet the last few days on Isla Mujeres changed me in substantial ways, ways I did not recognize at the time.
Regarding Terminator; I’ve always considered the 1984 movie a love story.
https://www.theterminatorfans.com/exclusive-michael-biehn-as-terminator-kyle-reese-debunked/
